


Until the Sky Falls Down on Me

by magnificentbanes



Series: Season Three Codas [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 3x01 coda, Brief mentions of Depression, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 22:12:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14090787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnificentbanes/pseuds/magnificentbanes
Summary: Magnus is worried that he's holding Alec back. Alec has a few things to say about that.





	Until the Sky Falls Down on Me

**Author's Note:**

> title is from "truly madly deeply" by savage garden

_ I’m not going anywhere. _

Alec’s voice played over in Magnus’s head on a constant loop. When he’d said it, Magnus had been relieved. He had been honest when he said that he didn’t want his boyfriend moving to Idris. If it had been anywhere else, he wouldn’t have minded, but he couldn’t follow Alexander to Alicante. And he didn’t want Alec somewhere he couldn’t follow.

But.

As he thought more about it, an uneasiness settled deep in his stomach. He knew not wanting Alec to move to Idris was selfish, he’d admitted as much, but he wondered if he’d been right in voicing his opinion. Alec’s dream had always been to serve on the council and Magnus couldn’t help but feel guilty that he was keeping Alec from that dream.

It didn’t matter that Alec had said that Magnus was his dream, not the council position, the voice in the back of Magnus’s head - the one that always popped up when he least wanted it to - just kept repeating that Magnus was wrong, that he was a bad person, that he should tell Alec to go to Alicante and live the life he’s always wanted.

“Alexander,” Magnus whispered into the dark. The LED lights of the alarm clock next to Alec’s side of the bed said that it was 3:45AM, but if Magnus didn’t talk about this now, then he never would and the guilt would eat him alive. “Alexander, are you awake?”

Alec groaned and rolled over so he was facing Magnus. “Mmm I am now. What’s up? Did you have another nightmare? Was it about your mom?”

Magnus smiled. Sometimes it was still hard to believe that Alec loved him as much as he did. Magnus had always assumed there was something inherently wrong with him, something unlovable. But Alec was slowly proving him wrong. “No, no nightmares. Actually, I haven’t gone to sleep yet.”

“Why not?”

“I’m thinking.”

“About what?”

“You. How you’re turning down the position on the council for me.”

Alec blinked a few times, the way he did when he had to get up at ungodly hours and he was trying to wake himself up. “Magnus,” he said gently, reaching for Magnus’s hand underneath the covers. “I was already thinking about turning it down. Not only for you, though that was a factor, but because I feel like I can do more good here than in Idris. Here I’m the head of the Institute and I have the Downworlder council. In Idris, I would barely have a voice.”

“I just. I don’t want to feel like I’m holding you back.”

“You aren’t holding me back. You’ve given me things I never thought I would get to have. I wasn’t lying when I said I’ve always dreamed of meeting someone like you. From the time I realized I was gay, I would lie awake at night and think about meeting a boy that loved me and that I was allowed to love in return.”

“I hope that reality measures up to your dreams,” Magnus teased, though he was sure Alec could hear the slight unease underneath the joke.

Alec traced the line of Magnus’s jaw gently. “Reality is so much better than my dreams.” Magnus leaned in and pressed his lips to Alec’s forehead. “But, seriously. You telling me you didn’t want me to leave was the final push I needed to be confident in my decision to tell Consul Penhallow no.”

“Why?”

“Because waking up to you every morning is the best part of my day and knowing that I get to come home to you every night is the only thing that keeps me going. Because sometimes life sucks but then I remember that you love me and it sucks a little less. Because I never want to go anywhere that you can’t follow. But I needed to know that you wanted those things, too. Needed to know that you wanted me to stay.”

“Of course I want you to stay. I’m always going to want you to stay.” Magnus knew that “always” was a loaded word for him and that they still needed to have a serious talk about his immortality and Alec’s lack thereof, but he knew that no matter what happened, “always” would ring true. He was always going to want Alec, always going to need him, always going to love him.

No matter what.

“Do you feel better now?”

“A little.” He was probably never going to be completely better, probably always going to be haunted by some ghost or another, but Alec soothed the wounds, just by being there. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Alec kissed him on the lips, lingering for a moment after they pulled apart. “Now, get some sleep. I already told Izzy I’m gonna be sick tomorrow.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“Mhmm. And there are things I have planned that require you to be alert.”

“I like the sound of that.” Alec shifted so his back was pressed against Magnus’s chest. Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s waist and placed his hands over his heart, the beat calming him. “Goodnight, Alexander.”

When Alec muttered a goodnight, Magnus thought that he was glad he asked Alexander to stay.

**Author's Note:**

> come visit me on tumblr: alcgideonlightwood!


End file.
